Burnout Recognition, Battle Tactics, and Avoidance
/An alternate title for this post could be, “How I lied to myself for three years,” but we’ll get to that.
What Is Burnout?
Burnout, for those that aren’t familiar with the term, is basically where you’ve reached the end of your production capacity. When I was younger, we used to describe this as , “Running yourself into the ground.” But I don’t really like that phrase anymore because it’s kind of blamey and implies you and only you are the reason for said burnout. And while, yes, our choices are our own, I don’t feel like this phrasing takes into account other drains on our mental, emotional, and physical energy banks.
Yanno, like a global pandemic. Periods. Insurrection at the seat of our democracy. Family or relationship stress. Or any of the other metaphorical and literal wildfires that have been blazing around us in recent history.
Thus, I now like to say of burnout, “There’s no fuel left in your tank.”
My Experience With Burnout
So that lying to myself for three years thing. Welp, basically, I didn’t consider caring for my energy reserves important. I went full-time as an author back in January of 2017. And then, because travel is extremely expensive, I picked up a part-time job in November of 2019 to pay for the lots and lots and lots of travel I had planned for 2020.
<takes a moment for sad LOLZ>
And in all the writing, traveling, part-time-jobbing, pandemic, general stressful political state of affairs, running a small business, I never gave myself days off.
Oh, sure, I took days and time for myself now and again, but only when I felt like I needed it.
And all the while, as the hubs encouraged me to take more breaks for myself, as I saw friends talk about burnout and self-care, as I wrote to you, dear readers, about how important self-care is, I told myself that I’m fine. I can push though. That I don’t have time for all that and that taking care of myself isn’t as big a deal.
This, my friends, is a perfect recipe for burnout. Not to mention, admittedly, more than a little concerning. What did I think was going on? That I was somehow immune to the needs of ordinary mortals? That I didn’t deserve the same gentleness that I was encouraging others to give themselves. I do know one of the major thought processes happening was, “The world is not going to wait for you. Better keep running, lest it leave you behind.”
Not great, I know. And I apologize for being a hypocrite. But please don’t follow my example. Take care of yourselves, friends. Be as kind to yourself as you are to your dearest friends.
Anyhoodles, as you might expect, burnout eventually caught up with me. I took some leave of absences from the part-time job, but I still worked the author job just as hard. Imagine my surprise at the beginning of this year when I felt frayed and thin and transparent, like a ghost of myself.
And let me take a moment to say I completely understand the drive to accomplish. 👏 All! 👏 The! 👏 Things! You have responsibilities, people depending on you both at work and at home, bills to pay. I 100% get that. But the immutable fact is that energy, whether it’s mental, physical, or emotional, is a finite resource.
So I took yet another leave from work, and this time I built myself a new schedule, one that included built-in days off for myself.
Anyway, lo and behold, as I started regularly taking days off, even when I didn’t feel like I “needed” it, I started to feel my old energy come back. Slowly. Burnout recovery takes a while; yet another reason to try and prevent it in the first place. A little time that you regularly choose to take now can prevent a lot of time from being forced away from you later. Moving on, even with this new schedule, though, there are still days I feel extra tired, and I try to listen to those signals now, which leads me to…
Warning Signs
So how do you know you’re starting to wear thin? That’s hard because everyone is different, so burnout might present differently in you than it does in your family members, coworkers, or friends. For me, I recognize the mighty tired in a couple of different ways:
1) My socialness suffers. I’ve talked before on this blog how much I enjoy socializing with people. Part of my morning routine everyday is catching up on Instagram. And I can tell my fuel tank is running low when I don’t feel up for the social part of social media. I’m fine to scroll and like, but commenting and chatting, nah. Likewise, if I’m at the part-time job and I don’t feel chatty, that’s when I know I need to take some time recharging.
2) Molasses brain. This affects my creativity more than anything else. If I try thinking about the book I’m working on or sitting down to write and it feels like the ol’ brain gears are turning through molasses, then I know my mind is tired.
This part is really hard to pinpoint, which is hella frustrating, I know. Human bodies do all kinds of wacky things, and it takes time and a whole lot of observation to figure out what might indicate impending burnout. But you’re the only one who knows what your body is doing; no one can feel that for you. If you want to do your best for both yourself and the people around you, then you need to take time away from all that doing in order to understand what your body is saying. And this is where prevention comes in.
Preventing Burnout
Hot Take—While I completely, totally, 100% believe knowing how to recognize the signs of burnout is important, knowing how to prevent it is even more so. After all, if you can forever prevent burnout then you never really need to know the signs, right?
But seriously you need to know the signs too because life is really hard and prevention is too. 😐 <—Serious face being serious telling you serious things.
Okay, so you know how you’re supposed to stop eating before you feel full because by the time you feel full you’ve actually already over eaten? (There’s a time lag between signals with food consumption and the stomach and the brain.) Yeah, well, if you do like me and only rest when you feel like you need to, you’re already in big trouble.
Do you hear me, Past-Dana?!?!?!
Oh wait, it’s too late for her. But anyhow, taking time to rest even when you don’t feel like you need to is step number one.
Step number two is choosing activities during your rest time that are actually restorative. And for more on that, I’m gonna swing things over to this really great article by the people at Trello.
Why Restorative Rest Makes You More Productive And How To Achieve It
I read this article at least three times. It was a huge help for me when I was getting over burnout. And I’m about to reference it a good bit, so it’ll probably be helpful for you to read too, if for no other reason that that.
Sleep On It ~ There’s a study linked in the aforementioned Trello article about this, but basically getting enough sleep is a big dang deal. In addition to all the other stuff I was doing to myself for those three years, I didn’t have any kind of schedule for my sleep. None whatsoever. I’d just stay up til whenever, get up whenever. Now I’ve set myself a bedtime as well as a range to wake up in—it hits the between seven and nine hours mentioned in the Trello article. And man has that been a game-changer!
They don’t pay me to talk them up, but I wouldn’t say no if they did.
Meditation ~ This is something my therapist actually first suggested to me. Basically, she asked me when do I let my brain just be a brain. And my answer was something really eloquent along the lines of, “Um, uh, erm…” And lemme tell y’all, I hated meditation at first. I was so antsy. I wasn’t getting anything done. I was just sitting there doing nothing! But, as with so many things, I needed to find what worked for me.
I tried the Calm app, which I quickly dumped because, oooh! She pricy to use! Especially since you only get a few goes before they lock you out entirely without a paid subscription. After that I tried the Monterey Bay Aquarium’s Medit-ocean sessions on YouTube. Which I really like and are free, but they’re a little too long for me. And then I found the Headspace app, which I really like. You can set how long you’d like your sessions to be. And while the annual subscription costs about the same as Calm, you can continue to access the Basics sessions on Headspace forever for free. You can also choose different instructors for some of the sessions if you prefer one person’s voice to another—Dora is my favorite.
I Like to Move It-Move It! ~ Apologies to anyone I just infected with an earworm. 🐛 Yes, the Trello article mentions this too, and I know people hate being told they should work out. I’m not here to do that. Instead, I’ll just say a good walk is great. I personally really love a nice hike through the woods. Being outside in nature, especially with lockdowns and everything over the past year, is a balm for the soul.
Discover What Else Restores You ~ The above mentioned stuff is by no means the be-all-end-all of restorative rest. As an extrovert, I love pure hangouts. That is, where I get to just chat about everything and nothing with someone I enjoy spending time with. No pressure, no agenda, just enjoying one another’s company. Of course, in these plague times, that can be very difficult. So I’ve done coffee dates with people over Zoom and, when the weather is nice enough, coffee dates sitting outside (I’m not comfortable sitting down inside an eatery right now).
Or maybe some kind of crafting or video games provides that same rejuvenation for you. Just be sure to observe yourself after the fact. I’m into both these things, so I know some crafts and some video games stress me out more than they restore me. Or maybe drawing is a good outlet for you. Remember when we just drew horses or dogs or members of our families as kids? We can still do that today. Remember, this time doesn’t need to produce anything. It’s just there to help you.
So experiment and see what you feel happier and more energized after doing. And like the Trello article says:
"Remember, the rest you deserve is not contingent on the work you complete. Avoid viewing rest as a reward for a job well done—it is required for a job well done!"
But I Really Do Have to Get Stuff Done!
“This is great and all, Dana,” you might say, “but you were right when you said the world won’t wait. There are things that need doing!”
Yup, totally fair. There’s always stuff that needs doing. Always, always, always. But again, human energy in all forms is finite. So what to do? I tend to thrive on schedules, but one of the best aspects of a good schedule is that it allows you to be flexible. So what can you move around?
On days where I’m not feeling my best but there’s stuff that needs to get done, I’ll rearrange my tasks so that I work on some of the less mentally taxing tasks first. These are usually things I can also listen to music while doing, so I’ll throw on an uplifting playlist and filter through my emails, update my planner, take some pictures for Instagram, etc. After that, I’ll check in with myself and see how I’m feeling. Some days, the engines just need extra time to warm up and I’ll be good to go after some of the easier work. If not, what else can I rearrange?
I hope this has been helpful for you, friends. It’s been a year now since the pandemic started, and I know it’s been really hard for a lot of people. Beyond hard for some. You’re not alone. People do care. Take care of yourselves and each other 💖.
Thanks for reading.
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