D: Hello, Rook. Thank you so much for stepping out of the Broken Gears world to join me today. I know you’ve got a very busy schedule, what with running your own crime syndicate and all.
R: Of course. I can’t disappoint the fans. I’m a favorite, am I not?
D: I’m asking the questions here, pal. Now, can I get you anything before we start? Water? Wine? Wh—
R: Whiskey. Neat, if you please.
D: Right, whiskey it is. Okay, now that you’re settled, let’s start with something simple. If you had a free day with no responsibilities and your only mission was to enjoy yourself, what would you do?
R: That couldn’t happen. Business never stops moving. If I indulge this fantasy, though, I expect I’d like to be somewhere quiet with my favorite person. And my favorite drinks.
D: Your favorite person! That’s me, right? *Grins*
D: You know I can kill you, right?
R: *Tips drink glass and smirks* Same. Besides, you wouldn’t. Remember, the people love me.
D: Don’t get ahead of yourself, buddy.
R: Perhaps we should change the subject. Before there are tears.
D: Fine. Let’s try something different. Is there anything you've always wanted to do but haven't done? And what do you think would happen if you tried?
R: I’ve never traveled north. I expect there are lucrative opportunities to be had up that direction.
D: Still on the business stuff, huh?
R: I have to keep my eyes open.
D: Okay, how about this? Tell me about your family.
R: No. Next.
D: Grrrrrr. Okay, what do you like best about yourself? And least?
R: There are so many traits to choose from, but I am rather impressed with my knife skills.
D: Do you enjoy killing then?
R: *Shrugs* It’s necessary at times, but I can’t say I enjoy it.
D: That’s incredibly… forthright..
R: You’re welcome.
D: I notice you never gave me a trait about yourself you liked the least.
R: Well spotted.
R: Well what?
R: *Sighs* I suppose I wish I operated better in hot weather. I get rather tetchy in the heat.
D: Right, let’s switch gears a little bit. What is your earliest memory?
R: I don’t talk about that.
D: Not at all? You can’t give us anything?
R: It’s better for everyone if I don’t.
D: Surely there’s something that’s safe to share.
R: Would you like me to share my feelings about a Rook-centric book?
D: Spoilers, dude! That’s barely an idea just now. Speaking of the books, though, can you share any advice for the readers? Advice that doesn’t involve your… line of work?
R: Dress well. No matter what you do, dress sharply, and people will notice. Plus, you’ll feel nice.
D: Duly noted. And that cues our pop quiz time! What do you throw into the garbage and what do you recycle?
R: I usually have people for that. But you should burn anything you don’t want other people to see.
D: Do you hold the door open for the person behind you or do you let it go and slam in their face?
R: Depends on the person. Are they trying to kill me?
D: Do you take chicken soup to your elderly neighbor when they are sick?
R: Of course. Assuming they can offer me something in return. I scratch their back, they scratch mine.
D: Name your best friend.
R: *Blinks* Is this a trick question? I suppose Dmitri isn’t so bad.
D: I expected you to say someone else.
R: And I expect you to keep my secrets.
D: I guess. This is a spoiler-free interview after all.
D: Well, Rook, thank you so much for your time. It’s been… an experience talking with you. Thank you so much for taking this time with me.
R: It’s been my pleasure. *Lifts glass* Thank you again for the drink.
D: You’re so welcome. We’re still friends, right?
R: *Grins* Of course.